I am 20 years old and I have an older sister who is 23. She has a lot of freedom (works full time, goes to movies, goes out to eat with her friends, but I hope nothing haram). She has been getting into arguments with my mother for months now over marriage. At least 6 or 7 practicing educated, Shia men have come to the house to meet her and she turns all of them down. Every time my mother talks about marriage, my sister gets a bad attitude. My sister told my uncle that she was recently dating a non-Muslim man and they broke up and are trying to work things out. When my uncle told me this, I was very mad. I caught my sister talking on the phone with this man and I picked up the phone and stopped him from talking to my sister. I don't know if that was haram but I was not thinking clearly. Now I don't trust my sister and she denies dating anyone. She knows it is haram in Islam to do this but doesn't care. My father is not living to correct her so my mother and I are trying to deal with this. Am I allowed to spy on her to see where she is going and what she is doing? If I ever caught them together somewhere, what are my rights in Islam? Honestly Mawlana, I think I would beat this man if I saw him. Is this haram?

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I don't think the solution would be spying on her, being hard to her or beating that man. You don't want to drive your sister away from Islam or make her run away. By the way, do you know the man? What if he is a good man and ready to accept Islam as the final message of God? If he has the characteristics of a good husband, then get involved and discuss the question of marriage with him. That would solve several problems at the same time. The question is if your family is Islamic enough to put love and faith above cultural chauvinism.



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