I really feel regret and frustration about the fact in life that I have married girl whose looks are less than average. I always wanted somebody more beautiful and close to my ideal (good-looking, educated, and smart). When I went to look for that girl I was not mentally settled and disturbed about many aspects (personal, professional), and I still am sort of, due to various reasons or maybe it's my personality. I was also suffering from low self esteem and bad moods. I really didn't like the girl fully as she was not close to my ideal, but I was so under-confident about myself, and had a very low opinion about myself that no girl is going to love\like me that I went ahead with the philosophy that something is better than nothing. Also I got rejected by the girls I liked. I told my mother 2 or 3 times that I don't feel attracted towards that girl but she didn't take it seriously. Therefore, I went ahead half-heartedly. Now sometimes when I look at my wife I get angry and frustrated, but I understand she's not to blame. In a nutshell circumstances or my own shortcomings have put me with a girl whom I don't like 100%. Our marriage is 4 years old now and we have a 3 year old son also whom I like and I love very much. My question is that what the Islamic way to solve this ordeal is. How do I convince myself or is divorce a solution to this?

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If you are close by, come to see me so we can talk and improve the situation. Your wife may have what you are looking for, but you need to just realize it! It was Allah who put you with this girl. It was Allah who gave you this trust. You said you don't love your wife but I can tell you love her! She gave you what no other woman gave you. She gave you her life, her body, a son. If you truly love your son then you owe it to him to learn to love his mother for who she is. Your son needs you to love his mother. He is of her. She is the mother of your favorite person in the world. Is that enough to deserve your loving gratitude and respect? It is easy to love a pretty woman but it takes a real man to love an ugly woman. If you are not ready for this job, then it would be abusive for you to keep her in a loveless marriage. If you cannot keep her in kindness, then you should let her go in kindness, it is not acceptable for you to destroy the self-esteem of your wife and son.



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