I am 17 years old. By the grace of Allah, I had found this wonderful person as a friend, someone I plan to spend my life with, as husband and wife. I trust him and he trusts me. Our relationship is trust, faith, hope, and respectful affection. I was made to take an oath on the Quran, under forceful conditions, to swear that I will not communicate with him. God knows that if I wouldn't have taken it, it would've meant death not only for me, but also for my friend-without exaggeration. I'm begging you, please free me from this pain, and free me from these chains. It is affecting my entire life, my health my being. I have begged God with the deepest of repentance for making my mistake- I am truly repentant. Please, please tell me that there is a way out of this oath. Allah is all Understanding, all Forgiving, and all Merciful. Please help me, please.

Visit count: 91    Category: Relationships Between Boys and Girls         
Oath under force is not valid and there is no penalty and punishment for breaking it. However you should consider the possibility that your family is trying to protect you because they love you. At 17 you are old enough to get married but this may not be true for your friend, if he is your age. Not only would he have to be ready for an emotional commitment but he needs to be financially stable. It sounds like you'd have to move out of state with no forwarding address. It is indeed painful to give up a friend you love, but at same time it is a big loss to give up the respect and protection of your family. You need to communicate with this friend just enough to determine if he is in a position to take care of you right now as your Muslim husband, and if his family will accept you. If he is not able to offer this to you at this time, it is better for you to break up until he is ready for marriage. At that point, if you are still interested, he can ask you. It is a bad idea to continue to see him if you already know he cannot marry you. Better a painful end than never ending pain.



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